Coping with Anxiety: 3 Practical Tools to Help Take the Edge Off
“The best use of creativity is imagination. The worst use of creativity is anxiety. ”
There are only 2 root emotions we have which create offshoots of all other emotions: love and fear. Not surprisingly, anxiety falls under fear. Let’s break it down in detail to better understand in what ways anxiety stems from fear.
The feeling of anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness that can include worry, nervousness, or general inadequacy. When we’re anxious, we are often unable to stay calm, focus on what’s in front of us, and in some cases, experience anger and frustration. There is a degree of underlying fear that we are unsafe or have no control over our life.
Lao Tzu has famously said: “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” The worry and nervousness of anxiety is that of the future, or of events that haven't happened yet but we speculate could happen. While our anxiety is about future events, the mental or emotional buildup to the feeling of anxiety could very well be conditioned by our past. Therein lies the tricky remedy to anxiety.
Anxiety has a complex makeup of mental and emotional obstacles that keep us from being present. Everything that goes on in our mind can seem sensible and logical, at least, to the self-saboteur, because our mind is only in overdrive to protect us from anticipated emotional damage. Our mind is convinced we have every reason to be afraid; it’s just trying to do its job.
Our reason to fear can range anywhere from “what if I forget what I’m going to say during my presentation” to “am I going to be severely punished for this,” or the worst case scenario, such as “life is never going to get better, I am doomed to fail.” Some fears are conscious, while some are deeply embedded in the subconscious, programmed by many years of external reinforcement, such as harsh judgment and criticism.
The only way to heal from them is by first, becoming aware of them, second, identifying when you are experiencing them, and third, consciously transforming them into a different experience. It’s the third step that requires consistency and commitment. Though that step may take a little time, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s hard work. I’m going to share 3 different tools for anxiety relief attested by many holistic health practitioners. Each serves a different purpose, depending on where you are on your healing journey and what you’re currently feeling. I have personally used all 3 of these, and continue to use them when I am feeling anxious or have been thrown off of my center.
Grounding
I can’t emphasize enough the importance of grounding, especially for those who are so good at dwelling in the past or projecting into the future. Grounding is what keeps us present and reminds us that our life is here on earth. For many, grounding can also provide a sense of belonging.
There are many people who are natural experts at grounding. They are the ones who are able to accept their current situation and deal with whatever is in front of them head on, with patience and focus. For many others, especially those who are dreamers, high achievers, empaths, or are healing from past wounds, being and staying grounded can feel trivial, uncomfortable, or boring. I am often one of those people. So from time to time, it takes a bit of effort to remind myself to get grounded until I feel balanced and centered.
There are many grounding meditations and activities that can bring us back to our connection to the present. What I want to talk about here are practical activities in our daily life that can help us get grounded and stay grounded, if we perform them mindfully. These activities may seem insignificant but will ultimately help nurture the patience and discipline needed to live our life calmly in the present, no matter the circumstance.
Activities that help us ground are simple and mundane. They are often quite mindless and repetitive. Walking, naturally, is very grounding, especially when done barefoot. Gardening is another great way to feel grounded, and ever so appropriately, because we are literally connecting with the ground by touching earth with our hands.
If you are unable to carve out time for activities such as gardening, you can get creative and find a grounding activity wherever you are. House chores are a great example of grounding activities. The simple tasks of washing dishes by hand, mopping the floor, organizing the pantry, and folding laundry are great ways to bring us back to the present and can often feel meditative at the same time. The key is to not rush through them but do them slowly and attentively. When I worked at an office full time and had to print out many copies of my presentations, I would deselect the automatic stapling feature from the printer and manually collate a dozen pages for 20+ copies, because the task felt relaxing and grounding to me. It took my mind off of planning and creating, and into the peaceful present, while doing what had to be done. Sometimes, the practice of grounding is simply doing what has to be done, and doing it with the same amount of attention and gratitude as anything else.
Tapping
Also known as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), this technique has gained popularity and is now widely used by therapists as well as holistic healers to relieve anxiety. It is based on the combined principles of ancient Chinese acupressure and modern psychology, and backed by studies to show that it decreases cortisol (the stress hormone) level in our body.
It is extremely safe and gentle, and works by lightly tapping on your meridian points in a specific sequence. In conjunction with tapping the meridien points, a series of affirmations are used to reconfigure thoughts to align with the release tapping brings. The initiating affirmations are: “Even though I (fill in the blank), I love and accept myself fully as I am.” It is to be repeated out loud throughout the tapping sequence. What you fill in the blank may evolve over time, which is part of the release. For example, you may say “Even though I feel helpless with my living situation, I love and accept myself fully as I am,” or “Even though I am ashamed of the way I behaved, I love and accept myself fully as I am.” Eventually, when done enough times, you will find yourself reiterating your original statement naturally without force, in a way that brings you more peace and clarity. An example would be: “Even though I feel helpless with my living situation, I realize that I chose to be there and it’s only temporary.”
You can find complete instructions on how to perform Tapping/EFT and the basic sequence in this video from The Tapping Solution. There are also more complex sequences designed to release victim mentality, self-blaming tendencies, and past traumas stored in our body.
Self-expression
I came across a powerful insight last year that made me look at anxiety from a whole different perspective: Anxiety is creative energy with no place to go.
I believe many of us feel stifled or stuck in a sense that we couldn’t fully express who we are to the outside world. I have certainly met many who feel that way, and at one point, I felt that way.
If this resonates with you and you currently experience anxiety, you might be able to imagine all the gifts you strongly feel you could offer the world but without a recipient or an audience, regardless if it’s related to your career or personal aspect of life. Now imagine all that passion and creativity inside of you without an outlet, which converts to a massive amount of energy, accumulated and stored in your body. How would that make you feel? How else, but anxious, because you are likely ready to burst. The antidote? Find an outlet. Find many outlets. Maybe it’s painting, maybe it’s trapeze dancing, maybe it’s renovating your kitchen, or maybe, you simply need to talk to someone about all your ideas. Whatever it may be, find the right outlet that will set your particular creative energy free.
Your creative energy is not meant to be stored inside. It is meant to be expressed because it makes the world more colorful. The challenge for you is to find the appropriate outlet to express yourself in a healthy and productive way. You may not have the job that lets you express the way you want to, or the financial means to support your ideal endeavor, but you are a creative being capable of finding or building a channel that will allow you to express what is inside of you. This may be a slow, and at times, frustrating process, but that is okay, because it is part of the journey of refining your craft. The relief for you, in this case, is simply to get started. If you have already started but encountered obstacles, then it may be a good time to think outside of your norm and create new opportunities to express yourself in a different way, perhaps even surround yourself with different people.
Anxiety can feel debilitating at times, but we don’t have to let it distract us from living our best lives. If we are able to identify the root cause of our anxiety then we could grow from it and gradually turn it into something healthy and positive. All of the above tools essentially bring us back to the present. It is only when we are comfortable enough being in the present, we are able to face each consecutive moment calmly and with clarity.
