Authenticity: The Hardest and Easiest Way to Be
“Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.”
The word Authenticity has become a buzzword in recent years. Even a concept so simple and pure can spark many different ideas of what it is and what it should look like. Yet, what we often don’t realize is that our own idea and approach to Authenticity has already been shaped by layers of conditioning since the day we were born, making it inherently subjective. That’s what makes pure Authenticity so difficult to master.
When we live in a collective state of inauthenticity passed down from generations, coupled with cultural differences, the layers of denial and masking have become so thick and complicated that it’s hard for any person to uphold the highest ideal alone. Picture being born into a thick layer of fog with little visibility. You suddenly become aware that the world you see is not what it seems because it’s covered by this dense fog. You light a candle and are able to see your surroundings more clearly, but others around you continue to see a foggy world and assume you see exactly what they see.
In order to penetrate the dense fog for better clarity, many more personal candles need to be lit. The light and warmth they create collectively can cut through the layers, dissipate the fog, and reveal what’s hidden underneath. If you continue to be the only one with a candle, most people will perceive you as delusional, since they all see the same foggy world.
If this metaphor resonates, you may know how lonely and frustrating it can feel to be that person. Not only is it difficult to find direction in the dense fog with a single candle, but you must also confront non-candle holders who may add to your confusion. Because of this, we are collectively caught in a vicious cycle—just as the fog begins to lift, a new layer closes in.
Remembering Your Authentic Self
As challenging as it is to stay true to yourself and speak and act accordingly in this world, it’s ultimately far easier to do so than not. The hardest part will be remembering who you are. The rest you already know how to do because you are already you.
Your most authentic self is always the happiest, most relaxed version of you because you are not in conflict with yourself. You’ll know when you’re being authentic because it will feel good. To remember your authentic self, all you really need to do is recall a time you felt the freedom to be completely and unapologetically yourself, before concerns about judgment entered your awareness.
The answers may surprise you. You might remember an old version of yourself that seems silly or no longer relevant, but that’s okay. Within that memory, there is likely an element of innocence, curiosity, joy, and enthusiasm—a moment where you were living through self-expression.
If you can’t find such a memory, you can still access that part of yourself through meditation or contemplation. I once coached a man who had been disconnected from self-expression since he was a very young boy. His guardians and teachers discouraged what they saw as “unacceptable” social behavior, such as spontaneously singing joyful songs in public. He learned at a tender age that being himself wasn’t acceptable. He grew up following his family’s guidance, went to college, got married, and pursued a successful career in finance, but he was deeply unhappy and unfulfilled.
When he became aware of how his upbringing led to a life misaligned with his true self, he began a journey of awakening. He reconnected with his inner truths and is now living a life that supports his Authenticity. Even though his conditioning ran deep, he was able to rediscover who he was and find a way of being that felt fulfilling.
Lighting a brighter path together
As a lone candle bearer, it’s hard to see your path clearly. You’ll need to find other candle bearers along the way. Together, your collective light will shine bigger and brighter, illuminating your path more clearly. Keeping your candle lit until you find others may be the biggest challenge. It takes patience, courage, and persistence to keep going despite resistance.
Believing in your own Authenticity is the most important ingredient. As you walk your path of self-discovery, the only things that matter are how you see yourself, what you’ve learned, and how authentically you’ve lived. If you can stay true to this purpose, opposing opinions and views will start to fade into the background. Balancing Authenticity in a world that often forgets its value is a challenge we all face daily.
In the meantime, keep believing and walking toward the other candle flames you see in the distance. Let your own flame shine brighter so others can see you too.
Embracing each other’s authenticity
It’s easy to get caught up in what Authenticity “should” look like, but that’s not what really matters. To help one another rediscover our authentic selves, we must also embrace each other’s unique definitions of Authenticity. Eventually, our collective consciousness will converge, recognizing the most meaningful way of being. But to get there, we must allow one another the freedom to carry out their own version of Authenticity—regardless of how we think it should be.
For example, my idea of Authenticity might focus on communicating how I feel in the moment, prioritizing self-expression, while your idea might center on achieving recognition for your talents, emphasizing individuality. Both are valid. Afterall, there are many facets to Authenticity, and it ultimately guides us toward our life purpose. By opening our hearts and minds, and trusting each person’s own process, we create a space where everyone feels safer to be their authentic selves.
At the end of the day—and the evolutionary journey of our souls—Authenticity is what we all seek. I may even go so far as to say that Authenticity is Enlightenment. The goal of Enlightenment, which many of us pursue, is the ultimate reunion with our source and highest self—and what could be a better definition of Authenticity than that.
