Meditation and the Practice of Allowing

The idea of sitting and meditating on a daily basis for 15-30 minutes at a time sounds difficult for many; the thought of having no thoughts and emptying our mind for that long feels utterly impossible. At least, that is the common misconception of what we are supposed to do during meditation.

There is an impression that inner peace takes place when we stop thoughts from entering our mind, that when we meditate successfully we will have conquered our thoughts and attain some degree of enlightenment. While there are some truths to that concept, meditation itself isn’t a goal to achieve or perfect. It is a practice, or more of what I consider, part of a lifestyle.

Meditation isn’t meant to shield us from our thoughts nor be used as a weapon against our mind. It is a passive tool with fluid and compassionate energy. In meditation, we cultivate the space of allowing. That capacity of allowing includes our full range of thoughts and emotions, without passing judgment on any of them. Think of it as creating a safe and loving environment for our most intimate self. 

The practice of total acceptance and surrender during meditation is an art in itself. After we have spent enough time witnessing our thoughts and emotions, their urgency and intensity dissipates. That process happens organically, without us trying to force it. (In fact, the more we try to fight away our thoughts, the worse they typically get.) When we simply become our own witness and allow for anything to take place without resistance, we diffuse their power over us. 

Whenever incessant thoughts or intense emotions come up for me, I make time to drop into meditation as soon as possible. Not because I want to make them go away, but because I want to give them the time and space they need to emerge. That process lets me fully feel their presence and understand my relationship with them. I make peace with them in the process of seeing their existence.

Keep it simple and compassionate

Once you understand and adopt the principle of allowing as the foundation of your meditation practice, there are only 2 simple rules to remember. 

The first rule is, be as comfortable as you can, without falling asleep. There is a difference between sleeping and meditating, after all. 

To cultivate a space of allowing, we need to be relaxed. Doing that without resistance means that we do what we need to do to get comfortable and stay comfortable. If you feel an itch, feel free to scratch it; if you need to use the bathroom in the middle of meditation, do that. There is no need to feel guilty or frustrated for interrupting your meditation practice. Of course that doesn’t mean stopping to go have an ice cream because your thoughts led you to it.

The best posture to meditate in is sitting upright cross-legged with a straight spine. This is ideal because it creates the most balanced and relaxed position for the body while aligning all major chakras. If this is uncomfortable, sitting on a chair with both feet on the ground also works. Laying down is also an option, though it’s much easier to fall asleep in that position. 

The second rule is, you cannot screw up a meditation. As Davidji and Suzy Yalof Schwartz of Unplug Meditation often say, the only meditations you are doing wrong are the ones you don’t do. So before you criticize the way you meditate or how you had too many thoughts during meditation, just remember that as long as you show up to meditate you are doing it right.

The most important part of meditation is practicing. During meditation, we cultivate patience, self-compassion and self-discovery. They are important qualities for success in all aspects of life.

In our fast-paced world and diminished attention span, we are used to having instant gratification. The practice of building, nourishing and strengthening our character over a long period of time is becoming lost. To reap the long-term rewards of meditation takes self-discipline, even courage — being in solitude facing our innermost desires and fears can be difficult. 

If you are just starting out and 1 minute is all you can stand to do, then give yourself permission to feel good about sitting down and having a daily 1-minute conscious meditation practice. When you are ready you will want to sit for 2 minutes then 5, then 15, without force. As long as you keep at it, you will start to feel the bliss of being in meditation and you won’t want to stop.