When Nothing in Life is Going Right, Give Yourself the Gift of Stability.

The topic of abundance or living a great life can sound impossible, even ridiculous, if everything in your current existence is utter chaos. 

Building a great life is much like building a physical house — there are many steps along the way and it takes time to complete. Even though that is a cliché most of us have heard, it still holds true. So what does that actually mean? And how do we apply that to real life circumstances?

Once there is a vision and a blueprint for a house, the first step is to break ground before building can begin. The purpose is to ensure a stable foundation to build upon, a step that can’t be shortcutted or the house will collapse. The foundational steps are often unseen. They are not sexy. But without them, any work done to the house above is worthless. The very same applies to building a life — the stronger your foundation, the better you are able to build atop it. If you don’t spend the time to make sure your foundation is stable then any external pursuits are generally short lived.

Of course, the foundation of a human life is not as concrete and straightforward as the foundation of a house. At a psychological level, our personal foundation is made up of beliefs, thought and emotional patterns, habitual relationship dynamics, etc. At the physical level, our foundation is our body’s basic needs such as having food, water and shelter. To sum it up, we are beings of survival and our foundation is very much tied to our sense of safety and security. So for most adults, building or rebuilding their foundation means buckling down and taking small steps to form that sense of safety and security over a period of stability.

If everything in life seems to work against you, or you are experiencing a difficult loss in your life and nothing is going right at the moment, taking a big breath and a big step back to regain your stability might be just what you need.

Physical stability

Health

When struggling with health issues, anything you desire or plan for the future will feel restricted by the requirements of your physical needs. Therefore, your health truly comes first when it comes to stability in general. Be sure to allocate resources so health needs are met. Eat nutritious meals, exercise, and consult with healthcare professionals. When the body is healthy, you have the vehicle to overcome any external obstacles.

Safety

At the very least, people need to feel physically safe, that their life isn’t in danger and their personal belongings aren't being violated. If you are constantly afraid of the possibility of unexpected turmoil such as physical violence or theft, then you are always living in distress and survival mode, reacting to the environment. Over a long period of time, that becomes a norm and weaves into your daily thoughts and behaviors.

Re-establishing a sense of physical safety can mean moving to a more peaceful neighborhood. It can also mean breaking off ties and staying away from the people who threaten your safety. 

Shelter

For some, physical stability can be in a geographical sense. When you have a place to call home, you feel stabilized because it is a consistent space you can count on to receive you whenever you need to rest. The importance of securing a stable place to live can also provide a sense of safety. This doesn’t necessarily mean owning property, or having a family to return to every day — it simply means having a home base to retreat to regardless of its size or amenities.

Mental and emotional stability

Mental and emotional health can have many layers. There isn’t really any general solution that fits all. Take a little time to get to know what is needed right now and find a resource that fulfills that immediate need. For example, if you are in need of being seen and heard without judgment, then it would be crucial to find a therapist who is good at listening and acknowledging who you are, or be around other people who can provide that for you. Or, if you are drained emotionally from endless drama around you, then stability might just mean removing or detaching from the cause of that drama in your life.

Give yourself permission to fulfill that need completely and for however long you need to. After all, it’s impossible to stay calm and centered if basic emotional or psychological needs are unmet. When you address that immediate need, you will feel more stable emotionally and less afraid to take on life in general.

If you have deep foundational beliefs that have been blocking your general well-being, then you will want to bring them to the surface to resolve first. Basically, you become what you believe you are. For example, if you believe you will always be unhealthy, poor, or unlovable then you will most likely make choices in life based on those beliefs. On the other hand, if you believe you are smart, attractive, and lovable, you will make decisions in life to support those beliefs. Your foundational beliefs are essentially the cornerstone of what makes up your life. 

Financial stability

Money is an important resource and tool to help build toward a great life. Not having financial stability affects other areas as well because, let’s face it, many things in life require money. If you are constantly stressed about money then it is likely you will need to put off some of the other necessities in life.

Look for a job or another steady stream of income, even if it’s not something you are passionate about, for the time being. Put away any amount of money you can toward your savings. When you feel more confident about your financial situation, you can start to explore the types of work you feel more passionate toward. If your financial instability is only a temporary setback, then all you might need is to create some cash flow for a short period of time until you can recover.

Stability in all of the above really goes hand in hand. Good news is, when you take care of one area, you generally begin to take care of the others. The rest falls into place quicker and easier after that. You can’t avoid setbacks in life, but you can always build (or rebuild) the life you want to live with patience, consistency and perseverance.