Reconciling Your Higher Mind and Lower Nature

On the road to personal transformation, we are bound to run into some obstacles. Just as soon as we start to think we are “awake” enough to manifest the life of our dreams — from financial abundance to healthy long-lasting relationships, the universe throws us a brand new lesson to be learned, often with impeccable timing, that reminds us that we are in fact, still human.

Sometimes, we are presented with an old lesson, over and over again until we’ve learned it. For me, the attraction towards handsome narcissists has always been somewhat of my archnemesis. Even after I’ve worked so hard to break the pattern, there was always an itch that came with that freshly mended wound. And, apparently, my ability to attract narcissists was still fully intact — there was still an energetic connection that drew us together.

My higher mind knew better. I knew how it was going to end. I even knew what the entire relationship would look like before we reached an inevitable end. I knew I was better than this and that I had outgrown this type of connection — I saw myself giving a pep talk to the past version of me. I was in a great place, perfectly happy with who I was and where my life was headed. I didn’t need him, or anyone else for that matter. 

Still, I was tempted, and I knew how to talk myself into having it be okay.

“It’s just going to be temporary, it’ll be harmless.”

“I deserve to have some fun. Anyone else would do the same.”

“I’ve been lonely for a long time, I need this.”

ETC., ETC.

The dilemma here is that my higher self recognized the red flag. My alarm went off warning me of the foreseeable slippery slope back down to a miserable previous version of myself, and that the climb back up would be strenuous. I would be set back years from the progress I had already made. Why would I do this to myself?

Yet, my lower tendencies were shouting from the pleasure centers of my body. 

Why wouldn’t I do this for myself?

Thus began a loop of internal conflict and a turbulent (also sensual) 3-month romance.

It was a necessary experience I needed to go through — a final dose of medicine I needed to seal the scar for good. In a way, it was an opportunity to solidify who I am so that I would believe it to be true in the center of my being. I am someone who no longer saw self-centeredness as attractive.

As human beings, we are frequently presented with scenarios that test our values, principles, and how disciplined we are in following through on being the kind of person we want to be. Our “lower nature” or primal desires are hardwired from prehistoric days and were designed to keep us safe and reproducing. As we evolve as a species, our consciousness evolves, too. We strive to be better and kinder for the preservation of our entire species and our home, planet Earth. Our more primal reactions motivated by sex, vanity, fear, violence, greed and power do not support that collective goal.

I have always thought of myself as having exceptional self-control. Through this experience I have learned that I am, after all, still human. All of us are. We will all face temptations, lower desires, in different forms and we will all have plenty of opportunities to sell out. So, for those of us who have done the inner work and have developed a better sense of self-awareness, how do we navigate and balance our higher mind and our ever-still-present lower nature?

Recognize what is happening

You’ve grown, you’re more mature, but you still have a tendency to revert back to an old pattern. We all can, if we allow ourselves to go there. But it’s important to extend ourselves the courtesy of self-compassion if we ever do. Yet, it is also important to assess the potential damage it could cause in your life when your alarm goes off prior to acting on a temptation, because some damages are deeply hurtful and irreversible.

Our higher mind retains all that we have worked so hard for and the knowledge of what brings us true joy and fulfillment; our lower nature is drawn to the pleasure and excitement of the now, of fleeting nature.

If you catch yourself on the verge of being pulled into an old pattern, witness and acknowledge it first. Make a conscious discernment of what it is that tempts you. Become aware of what is happening and remember why you worked so hard to move on from it to begin with. When some time has gone by, we can easily forget the pain and heartache an old unhealthy pattern has caused us. Carefully observe your situation and ask yourself: “Does this look and feel familiar?” and “Do I want to put myself through this?”

You are not the same person as you once were

The most important realization is that you are no longer the person you once were. You've come a long way to get to where you are and you should be so SO proud. Recognizing unhealthy habits or patterns and breaking them is no easy task. It takes a certain amount of personal transformation for that to take place. At times, it may feel like your life is no better than before, but you are on a path to create new habits and new patterns for the life you truly desire, and creation takes time. 

Now that you know that you know better, would you ever want to undo all the hard work you’ve done and go back to a previous version of yourself?

Be honest and try not to hurt anyone (including yourself)

Before we reach our final phase of completion, temptations will continue to show up in our life in different forms for us to overcome, sometimes playing to our most vulnerable or shadow selves.

In the process of confronting and letting go of our lower tendencies, we also want to handle our own emotions delicately. Be honest, starting with yourself first. You might want to ask yourself what the real reason is behind a particular lure when you innately know it’s a bad idea to pursue. You might also want to ask yourself what’s the biggest cry or insecurity you may have about yourself that’s holding you back from letting it go. If an answer doesn’t come to you quickly, keep asking until you reach an “aha” moment.

Confronting others who are part of the temptation is never easy (you would probably not be reading this otherwise). In order to do that, you must first believe what you are about to do is the right thing, that putting an end to an unhealthy bond is what you truly want. When you feel clear about your goal then you are ready to walk away from the situation.

Trying not to hurt anyone else is part of the transformation process. The better you handle a tough situation, the more likely you will not return to it because you would have completely transcended it and released it from ever bothering you again, both internally and externally. When you are ready to walk away, be sure to communicate clearly and tactfully. Be honest but not harsh and avoid blaming. Take full responsibility for not wanting to be in the situation and let go of expectations of how others will respond. Keep your goal in plain sight — to be free from this.

Complete the healing process

There is usually a great deal of healing still needed after the act of walking away from a strong temptation. Old patterns are hard to break because they become a part of us we’ve come to identify with. We might even miss it.

If you have already done a great deal of innerwork, the healing process might be more subtle and less emotional. However, this final step is needed for you to fully come to terms with exactly who you are at this moment in time — you have just become a higher version of yourself by walking away from something that was difficult for you to walk away from. 

You have just leveled up. 

Take some time to absorb what that means to you. Allow this new you to take over and create a new standard of how you want to be treated from now on. Understand that you might have to face this temptation or challenge again in the future, but when that happens, you will remember this moment: the moment you realize your lower tendencies no longer have a hold over you and you are moving onward and upward.