From Hoping, to Believing, to Knowing
Learning takes curiosity. Doing takes courage. Knowing takes faith.
I became one of the happiest people I know, from being one of the saddest people I know.
Many years ago, whenever I met a confident, well adjusted, loving person who was an absolute delight to spend time with, a slice of envy always washed over me wondering what she must have in order to become the way she is. I’d secretly wished I had the loving family and a comfortable upbringing she must’ve had (I speculated) to become the positively radiant person she is today.
But one day, years ago, I heard the phrase, “Be the happiest person you know” from one of Gabrielle Bernstein’s vlogs, and every other self-help quote thereafter paled in comparison. It was a concept that had never occurred to me.
I always prided myself for being an overachiever. I went after the building blocks I thought would create happiness for myself such as financial stability, love, friendships, fun, adventures. Yet it had never occurred to me I could just BE happy, and carry happiness with me wherever I go.
The thought was idealistic and far-fetched, but hit the very core of my Piscean soul. It would be the ultimate accomplishment. I must try it. After years of hoping for happiness to drop on my lap from the heavens, I was now on a quest to become happiness itself, and for some odd reason it felt more attainable than my previous search from external resources. I was in full control of that quest.
For years, I was convinced I was a sad person at heart, despite others’ repeated affirmations and well wishes. It was because I was depressed for a long time and no one noticed. But I desperately wanted them to, so I held on to that part of my life long after it had passed. This new persona I created for myself, however, lifted me to a new way of being. I started to believe I could be a happy person all on my own.
Believing I could sustain happiness for a long period of time was in less question after a while. The longer I was happy and spreading happiness, the more I believed this was how I was going to be, for the rest of my life.
I took small steps toward being that person. Instead of complaining about a situation, I started looking for ways I could improve on it. If I was at a dinner party and saw no one wanting to help with cleanup afterward, I’d volunteer to get things started. If tension broke out during an office meeting, I would look for a way to smooth out the situation for both parties so everyone walked away feeling good. If I reached an impasse with a friend, I would squeeze just a little more compassion out of myself and give her what she needed. I made sure I did all of it happily and genuinely from a place of abundance so that I didn’t store any resentment.
I began to give everything I had for bettering every situation to the best of my ability, and unknowingly it expanded my capacity for loving and giving. And it made me a happier person. The more I gave, the happier I became. More and more, I believed not only that I could be a happy person, but I AM a happy person. That I had an infinite amount of love and happiness to contribute to the world around me. I began to only resonate with that frequency, and it felt great.
Believing I could sustain happiness for a long period of time was in less question after a while. The longer I was happy and spreading happiness, the more I believed this was how I was going to be, for the rest of my life.
Then knowing rose from deep within shortly after. It was as if that knowledge was lost or archived away in a vault somewhere since the beginning of time and I suddenly found it. While “believing” propelled me forward to become a happy person, my thoughts continued to say “I’m getting there, I will one day be the happiest person I know. Then I will find a way to sustain that happiness once I get there.” The sense of “knowing,” however, was unwavering. Any sliver of doubt and hardship from my “believing” phase evaporated.
I now know it is my destiny to be happy. Just like I know it is your destiny to be happy, too. It is what we are all meant to be.
It is my clear understanding now that life isn’t going to be perfect, as there will be pain, losses, and obstacles to overcome. But ultimately we are here to fulfill and live out a purpose in this lifetime, and that purpose includes joy and happiness.
You see, when you experience life by means of only happiness, fear, doubt, and insecurities become so obscured that you no longer pay attention to them. They become ever so insignificant because your focus on creating happiness is larger than life itself. At that point, you realize happiness is your only destination. Everything else in between is nothing more than a temporary stop.
