Soulmates May Come and Go, but Building a Solid Connection Lasts a Lifetime
The idea of soulmates may sound like a Disney fairytale to many. Yet, others still hold on to the belief that when we meet our soulmate, we will find happily ever after.
There are always divergent views on this concept, from both the happily married and the pining singles. Many in long happy relationships swear they have met their one and only soulmate and are living their romantic fantasy. Yet, just as many state their long-lasting happy union is the result of mutual respect and similarities that took work and commitment throughout the course of their relationship. And singles who are still waiting for the relationship of their dreams also have contrasting views. Some believe their soulmate is out there waiting to be found, while others deny their existence altogether and feel that finding lasting love takes maturity, strategy, and perhaps a little luck.
Even the group who do believe (or at least don’t deny) in soulmates have different understandings of the idea. Some believe meeting their soulmates means everything will fall into place and their love will overcome all obstacles; others believe we have multiple soulmates and if one doesn't work out, chances are, there will be another.
If you believe in past life and reincarnation like I do, then you might believe in soulmates in a different capacity. You might be open to the possibility that we each have multiple soulmates and are destined to meet some of them in this life, too. You might also believe we each have a soul family we are a part of and are connected to, for better or worse, in this life, to help each other evolve.
My belief in the existence of soulmates and soul families traces back to the ancient Chinese mythology and spirituality I’ve studied growing up, along with heavy Buddhism influences I was surrounded by. There were many stories written in ancient literature that spoke of soul agreements and the longing of souls to meet for a lifetime on earth. Some souls decide to meet lifetime after lifetime until they have completed their cycle in this dimension.
I never really believed in the ideals of a singular romantic soulmate who would sweep me off my feet at an instant to ride into the sunset together and live happily ever after. Rather, I believe we have unsevered ties or unfinished business with the many soulmates we may have encountered throughout our lifetime(s), especially with those who have made an unforgettably deep impression. We may be destined to spend a long happy life with one desirable soulmate or we could very well meet many and resolve whatever it is between us to move on.
How do you know when you’ve met a soulmate?
A soulmate is an important person from your past, whom you’ve had a prominent or intimate relationship with. You are meeting again in this life because there is something you need to resolve before you can move on. It could be finally finding love with each other that lasts a lifetime because you were unable to in a previous life, paying a karmic debt, helping each other grow by bringing a valuable lesson, or finally reaching an understanding and severing your ties.
Encountering a soulmate is generally an electrifying experience. Somewhere deep in your psyche, you remember having met that person before. A few common examples are:
There is an instant physical attraction
There is an unexplainable feeling of familiarity
A strong force keeps pulling you toward each other, even if you don’t get along
Stay present and stay true
As much as I believe in the existence of soulmates, what I know for sure is the staying power of a solid and steady connection built over time, which can also happen with a soulmate. I don’t believe meeting a soulmate necessarily means everything will work out smoothly, for even soul connections are subject to life conditions here on the earthly dimension.
I also believe in free will and that the choices we make override any preconditioned destiny. What I mean by this is I believe in living my life being open to what pulls me toward it, trusting there is a reason for that pull. I am drawn to someone for an important reason, regardless if it’s logical or at a subconscious level. There could be a life lesson to learn, an issue to resolve, or something new to discover. Not pursuing it could mean missing an opportunity for personal growth.
I also respect the boundaries of any new relationship and take steps to nurture it so that it can reach its full potential. I communicate as truthfully as I can to the best of my knowledge so that the relationship can stay as authentic as possible. Without authenticity, any relationship, even with a soulmate, can become confusing and complicated over time.
The one you choose becomes your soulmate
We are each living and creating our own destiny at the same time. That is the magic of this life and the power of being human. Regardless of what happened in previous lifetimes, many of us are here because we want to continue to experience life on earth, or, experience life differently this time around.
That means we get to choose our own adventure. Even the one that involves our heart.
We resolve past karma as well as create new karmic ties in this life. The person (or soul) you choose to build a life with essentially becomes your soulmate and a new tie is formed. How strong the loving bond is between you two will depend on the intention and attention you put into the relationship. Trust takes time to build but only moments to break. It requires both in the relationship to be mindful of that and handle it with sensitivity.
When two people commit and have the mutual desire to stay together, they, in a way, make a soul agreement. It is what I believe a marriage vow truly means — not just a promise for the bodies, but a promise for the souls. So whether you believe in the magic of soulmates or put in the work with a compatible romantic partner, taking steps to know them and creating a safe heart space is the best way to build a loving and lasting relationship, making anyone a potential soulmate.
