3 Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

I experienced major Imposter Syndrome in the last couple of weeks. My emotions were up and down, draining my energy in a way that I couldn't quite understand — it was something I had never experienced before.

I received an invitation to be interviewed by Authority Magazine, an online publication with a considerable following that talks primarily about entrepreneurship and success with many celebrity features. The subject was “How to build a trusted and beloved brand” — my wheelhouse as an experienced creative professional in the advertising industry for the last 20+ years.

The timing of the universe was impeccable. You see, I had just launched the new website for my new marketing company, Innergrated Media. It is along the same path as this blog community that I wanted to expand my mission to build a heart-centered society by taking that philosophy into a field I am familiar with, but one often not known for its integrity. I was proud of myself for taking a big step and completing the website. I was ready for business.

Then came the invitation from Authority Magazine. I felt elated and quickly accepted the invitation. Shortly after, I did some research and read through some of the sample articles they sent me. I saw the list of impressive alums from some of the biggest names like Adobe, PepsiCo, Kodiak Cakes, and Ritz Carlton. My heart quickly started to pound and my palms started to feel warm and sticky. Who am I to talk about how to build a brand?!

I can’t do this, I thought to myself. I don’t work for the likes of Ritz Carlton or PepsiCo  — I am someone who just started her infant company and is trying to make it in the world. I can’t do this. I would look like a complete fool.

I sat on their list of interview questions for a week, bouncing back and forth between whether or not I should go through with it. I was stuck with indecision for a number of days because I didn’t feel good enough. I knew I needed to sort some stuff out internally if I wanted to even attempt to give a good impression in this interview.

I spoke with friends and mentors. I prayed. I played. I meditated. In the end, I completed the interview gratefully and proudly, even with all the jitters. The entire process took a couple weeks but felt like a couple months because I was processing so much.

As it turns out, I needed to learn the following growth lessons before I was able to move forward with the interview.

1.  Learn to give yourself credit

It occurred to me that even though I have a ton of experience, I shined at every job at every company, and I was highly praised by bosses, coworkers, and clients, I still find ways to tell myself I am not good enough. Even when words of support came my way I dismissed them by saying things like “But I’ve not won a major award” or “Well, yes, but anyone can do those things.” 

Sometimes we get stuck in our own perception of ourselves and of the world. It’s not anyone’s fault. We have only lived inside our own shoes and walked the paths of our own lives. We do, however, absorb the voices we were raised by, and some of those voices are not the most encouraging, or are downright critical and negative. 

I grew up in a tough and critical environment. Everyone had high expectations of me. And since I seemed to always live up to those expectations, nothing I did became noticeable. It was just how I was “supposed to be,” except no one saw the hard work I put in behind the scenes. After a while, that became the norm for me, too. For me, my expectations of myself always exceeded those anyone else had of me. Year after year, I dismissed praise, compliments, admiration, because I didn’t feel I deserved them — I was simply doing what I always do. Nothing more. I felt that in order to deserve credit, I would have to have struggled, been given recognition by others in a substantial way, and earned a lot of money  — then I would finally be worthy of feeling I’ve succeeded. But I finally realized I would always be waiting for others to make me feel worthy, despite all that I’ve accomplished. 

I’ve learned that it is important for us to speak up, whether vocally or with written words, about our skills and achievements. It’s not about boasting, it’s about letting ourselves be known. It’s a real skillset to get comfortable describing to others how we have spent our time and what motivates us. A skillset that needs considerable practice and requires our heart, mind, and voice to be in alignment. Because the more we feel worthy and the more confident we feel, the more comfortable we become in talking about ourselves.

2.  Why not you?

Instead of asking “Why me?” or “Who am I…?!” start asking “Why not me?” This simple shift in perspective will help you see yourself in a different light. If you are passionate about a subject and have much to share, why not be the one to share it?

Every successful professional or entrepreneur is not without a path of mistakes and failures behind them. In an insightful conversation with one of my meditation teachers, the wise Davidji, he asked me: ”Would you rather learn from someone who has made mistakes and learned from them, or would you want to learn from someone who has never made any mistakes of their own?”

The truest and most valuable lessons we can teach are what we have learned and how we have bounced back from mistakes and failures. Let each experience be a new adventure we can someday share; let each mistake be a new lesson we can someday teach.

3.  Accept that Imposter Syndrome will likely not go away completely

Take great comfort in knowing that some of the legendary minds and most talented celebrities still battle Imposter Syndrome from time to time. In speaking with some of the great teachers, they eluded that they still at times feel the jitters when speaking with a well-regarded audience, even after 20 years of teaching and public speaking. In David Foster’s documentary about his life, David Foster: Off the Record, he candidly stated: “On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I wake up and think I am the greatest thing ever. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays I think I suck, I haven’t accomplished anything at all, that I better get to it, and that I am a fake and a fraud. And on Sundays I don’t think about it at all, and that is the truth.”

As each of us grows and expands in the direction of becoming our best selves, we will surely come across new experiences and challenges. Fear can paralyze us easily if we allow it to take over. It’s more important to accept that discomfort will be a natural process and embrace it as a part of growth. Be scared, be uncomfortable, but move forward anyway. Enjoy the full experience, including all the jitters. It is how you know you are expanding beyond what you were yesterday.