Coping with Depression in the Summer

Being depressed in the summer is kind of like having a fever in the summer — it can feel like no one else has it, no one else understands why, and no one else cares about it.

In a fast-paced season full of sunshine and happiness, the summer is typically reserved for vacations, laughter, and fun gatherings. However, emotional meltdowns and life events do not stick to a planned schedule, and feeling depressed during this season can be lonely and frustrating because the environment seems too cheerful for anyone to understand.

When I was struggling with depression, time never seemed to be on my side, nor was it any of my concern for that matter (time ceases to exist when one feels that low and miserable). My bouts of depression would last anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 years. Those long ones, of course, included the summer seasons.

During those warm Southern California summer months, I felt as if I was the only unhappy person in the world. If I stepped outside my door at all I would be surrounded by bright smiles, laughter, breezy beach outfits, and sun hats, which made me feel that much worse. 

I felt like the most screwed up person in the world.

I walked among all the happy breezy people with a frown on my face, deep in thought, and in torment from my own emotions. I wanted to be invisible and noticed at the same time. I wanted people to acknowledge that I was going through a hard time but not give me any advice. At the same time, I was tired of hearing things like “I hope you feel better,” “Time will heal all wounds,” or “I’m sorry. Let me know if you need anything.” I felt all kinds of complicated, and didn’t know what I needed to feel better. 

I didn’t want to see expressions of sympathy either, especially the awkward kind — a sure sign of someone who didn't know how to respond to my awful state of being. I was starting to get angry with myself, that I was not only incapable of being happy and enjoying this amazing scenery available to me, but also I felt I was becoming a burden to others and bringing them down.

I desperately wanted a concrete plan of action to follow, a step-by-step instruction guide with a guarantee that the end result would be my inner peace and happiness. But I knew there wouldn’t be one — the only way out was through.

Fast-forward to present day: I’ve been depression-free for nearly a decade and I feel confident it won’t return to haunt me like it once did. I’m no longer fearful of my emotions spiraling out of control, preventing me from functioning in a healthy way. More and more, it became an active decision on my part how I wanted to feel and how long I wanted to feel it, regardless of my external environment. I am now the master of my emotions, rather than a victim, spring, summer, or winter. 

But easier said than done, as with the mastery of anything. It took a long journey of getting to know myself, my needs, insecurities, traumas, immaturity, who I was and who I wanted to be. Remembering my first few summers of dealing with depression, I wish someone would have given me the following guidance when I was neck deep, buried in sadness:

Being depressed doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you

The word “depression” can sound like a disease these days, especially if it’s diagnosed by a doctor or psychologist. Adding the word “treatment”, it can make anyone feel like they are a problem that needs to be fixed, even if that isn’t the intention.

While prolonged or chronic depression can affect health and quality of life, feeling depressed itself is something that is felt by everyone, as life events happen. However, having the proper tools and guidance on how to navigate through it isn’t something that is given to everyone.

If you don’t yet know the cause of your depression and how to manage it, it can feel as if it’s something that just happens to you without your choice. Truth is, there is always an underlying explanation for it and it’s just a matter of time for the answers to unravel with some patience and investigation.*

Know that it is temporary

If you have struggled with depression for a long time, each episode can feel detrimental and trigger lots of fear and anxiety. It’s easy to spring into a state of panic, not knowing how bad this episode will be and how long it will last. You fear this feeling will never go away, that your happiness will always be short-lived, that you will have to live the rest of your life dealing with depression.

For the time being, give yourself permission to feel depressed. Take deep breaths frequently and allow any feeling that comes up to move through your body without resistance. Know that it is all going to be temporary.

Fill in the blank then recite this to yourself out loud:

“OK, I’m feeling _______ right now. I don’t like it but I’m going to let it do its thing. When it is done then it will leave my body.”

Be protective of your emotional space

Feeling depressed can put anyone in a vulnerable place. Your energy is low and scattered, and your mind is likely preoccupied with lots of questions and concerns.

In an energy-heightened season like summer, surrounded by lots of hustle and bustle, you might feel a certain level of defenselessness with everyone moving and talking faster and being a little less sensitive than usual.

Acknowledge this is just how you feel right now and be around people who understand your situation and are sensitive to your emotions. Create opportunities for comedy, laughter, and positive reinforcement.

Plan daily schedules and stay physically active

Sometimes the best way to get yourself out of bed each morning is having a schedule. Tending to the things you have to do helps keep thoughts grounded and present. Write each task down or add it to your calendar on your phone, even if it’s as mundane as “do laundry” or “get a car wash.”

Include physical activities involving cardio exercise at least 3 times a week in your schedule. Stimulating endorphin production will help you feel better overall, keep you functional, and likely shorten the duration of your depression.

Decide when enough is enough

No one wants to feel depressed even though we sometimes unconsciously choose to be. How does that make sense? Well, we get into the mode of self-loathing when we have prolonged or chronic depression. Or, quite possibly, we have prolonged or chronic depression because we are self-loathing.

But you do have a choice to whether or not you want to keep feeling this way. Coming to that powerful realization is the first step to gaining control over your own emotions, even if that sounds impossible at the moment. Think of it as a skill just like any other skill to be learned and mastered.

This doesn’t mean there is an on and off switch and your feelings of depression will be magically lifted. But, by simply deciding how you want to feel and how long you want to feel it, you are taking an active role in being in charge of your emotional state. 

Replace feelings of depression with how you would rather feel

If you are looking for a concrete and actionable method of getting rid of depression once and for all, this is it. It is none other than positive thinking and reprogramming the mind.

Feeling happy instead of depressed can be trained. The less attention you give to how depressed you feel, the less power you give to it to stick around and consume your energy.

Schedule 10 to 15 minutes a day, twice daily on your calendar, to think about how you want to feel instead, and allow that feeling to sink in. Do this consistently every day. Write in a journal all the wonderful feelings you want to feel, even if you can’t remember what they feel like or have never felt before. Nothing is too outlandish.

Use the following affirmations:

“Even though I am feeling down right now, I know it is temporary and I am meant to be happy.”

“I am in charge of my emotions, they are not in charge of me.”

“I am open to and welcome experiences of happiness.”

*This article is not intended to provide medical advice or diagnose or treat clinical depression. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment.