8 Ways to Create More Flow in Your Life
“Being in Flow is being on the shortest path to reach your optimum potential.”
If you’re an artist, athlete, or even a mathematician, chances are you’ve experienced the feeling of being “in the zone,” or what many of us call being in Flow. It’s that beautiful euphoric feeling of being unstoppable and utterly unlimited — anything is possible when you are in Flow.
What is Flow?
The Flow state can be described as a momentum in the most possible efficiency. Being in Flow is being in complete alignment with your thoughts, actions, desires, and timing of the universe. It’s when your own energetic vibration seems to blend and be in harmony with your entire surroundings.
When you are Flowing, you are focused, you are optimistic, you have clarity, and everything is going your way. There are moments you feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience because the high you experience seems surreal.
The only problem is, it doesn’t last. The Flow state comes and goes, often with long gaps of inadequacy in between.
What if there is a way to preserve or prolong the Flow state throughout life?
There is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you’re going against the grain in life. If you have experienced a glimpse of what it’s like to be in Flow, then you will understand how satisfying and joyful that state of being can make you feel. The state of not being in Flow, however, can feel fragmented, stagnant, difficult, deflating, even hopeless.
So many of us have attributed the Flow state to sheer luck, when the stars align and all the right pieces come together in perfect synchronicity. But I’d like to think it is simply a state of mind, and a conscious way of behaving which supports the state of Flow. And that way of behaving can be learned and achieved by anyone with a little practice.
I experienced the difference during a time in my life when I was inadvertently creating obstacles to disrupt the Flow process, versus now, when I look for ways to enhance Flow by finding practical solutions while removing mental blocks.
1. Honor agreements
One of the very simple principles that supports Flow is to honor the agreements you’ve made with others. This applies not only to professional endeavors but in personal situations as well. Being flaky is a slippery slope. Other than wasting someone else’s time, it sends the signal that you were either insincere when the agreement took place, or you didn’t really know what you had wanted. In any case, others may think twice before they enter into an agreement with you again.
This disrupts the Flow process in a serious way because things can no longer continue smoothly as they once were, or had the potential to be.
Here are a few mindful ways to prevent (or mend) broken agreements:
If you’re not sure at the time of the agreement, speak up. Communicating truthfully is always a great way to address uncertainties or explain your circumstances.
If you simply don’t feel right about the agreement, let the other person know as soon as possible and provide an explanation of how you feel.
If it’s a convenient and harmless activity or project but means a lot to the other person, go through with it anyway, even if you don’t feel like it. Make a mental note this may not be something you’re interested in again in the future.
When you have agreed to something, acknowledge you have chosen to participate when you didn’t have to. Part of honoring an agreement is not blaming someone else if something didn’t go as expected. Accept that you also have an influence in the way things could go.
2. Don’t force things
Trusting the universe’s timing is part of existing in Flow. It’s a grander timing that involves everyone’s best interest instead of just your own. When something doesn't go the way we want, our ego’s default tendency is to analyze what went wrong, whose “fault” it was, and how to “fix it.”
Being in Flow takes patience and faith that subtle forces are working in the background without being seen. It would be in your best interest when everyone involved is on the same page and is as excited and committed to the experience as you are.
Trying to force something to happen disrupts the Flow because it also disrupts that perfect timing when all elements coming together creates a synergy that can’t be manufactured.
For example, trying to involve someone to be in a role for your next project when they’re not ready would not only put them in an uncomfortable position, but could possibly jeopardize the success of your project; whereas waiting a month for them to feel confident or having enough support to pursue this role could make a huge difference in the outcome of your project.
3. Rest and play
The Flow state happens when you are relaxed and enjoying yourself. By now, it’s no secret that we cannot function optimally when we are stressed. Being in stress mode puts us in survival mode which does not support creative ideas and problem solving.
The best part of being in Flow is allowing our most creative selves to come through more effortlessly, and that happens when we nourish ourselves. Whenever you feel stuck or frustrated, here’s a few quick and easy ways to pause and relax:
Power naps and meditations — Just a quick 15-minute break to relax will revitalize your mind and body and reinstate your Flow.
Deep breathing — A physical and symbolic practice to reconnect us to the Flow state. There is nothing more representative of how the state of Flow works like our breath: in and out naturally and without resistance, yet, it provides us with livelihood. It is the simplest and most important function of our body all at the same time. Practicing deep breathing maximizes oxygen intake which helps awaken the body and offers more clarity of the mind.
Have fun! — Whatever that may look like for you. Whether it’s online gaming, a gelato run, or throwing a dinner party, having fun boosts your imagination, stimulates your senses, and reinforces the Flow state. When we’re having fun, we feel good and naturally want to continue what makes us feel good, and that includes relationships or career pursuits.
4. Stay in the present
Don’t regret the past and don’t worry about the future. There is only the present moment, the most important moment. What happened in the past is gone. What you make of the present moment is what builds your future. And the future will just be another present moment for you to respond to when you get there.
The Flow state is essentially a series of focused present moments that you have responded extremely well to. Each moment conjugates the next, forming a continuous strand of satisfying results. The present is the only place where you can create Flow.
5. Beware of thinking and talking in absolutes
If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone who has quickly shut down an idea of yours then you will probably know exactly what I mean. The flow of your conversation was disrupted and put to an end. You might have felt the metaphorical door slammed shut without any signs of it opening back up again.
Thinking and speaking in absolute terms without asking further questions or exploring possibilities is a sure way to stop the Flow process. Instead, communicate in more open-ended phrases and invite conversation, allowing the relationship to continue:
Instead of saying “no,” say something like “I don’t know how I feel about it, can you tell me more?”
Instead of saying “I don’t like it,” say something like “I haven’t had a good experience with it so far. What has your experience been?”
Instead of saying “That’s a terrible idea,” say something like “I think there are ways to improve it, let’s explore what they are.”
6. Communicate accurately
Communicating truthfully and accurately is one of the most effective ways to keep supporting the state of Flow. Doing so lets others know your current circumstances, state of mind, desires and pursuits, and your boundaries.
While this may seem like it gets in the way of certain connections you’d like to make, it actually helps to sift through all the relationships and connects you to the ones with most compatible interests and goals. Forming those types of connections will allow all of you to support your collective state of Flow. The better the communication, the more smoothly things will flow.
7. Stop resisting
One of the ways we sabotage the state of Flow is by fighting with it, and often we do it subconsciously. We let our own mental blocks get in the way of what is organically taking place. Some of these blocks include fear and our need to control. Letting go of these mental blocks will allow for more Flow to enter your life. Remember, creating more Flow is also supporting someone else’s Flow.
Resistance to the Flow could look like:
Cutting people off while they are talking
Not paying attention
Ignoring or being unresponsive
Turning down offers for help when you need it
Sending mixed messages
Diminishing celebratory moments
8. Follow your intuition
Finally, trusting and following your own intuition is how you’re almost always guided to enter the state of Flow.
We meet certain people we just have a good feeling toward; we come across an opportunity that sounds perfect, but there's something about it that just doesn't seem right. Whether we are aware of it or not, we’ve all experienced little nudges from our intuition telling us we should pursue something or walk away from it.
Let the process be simple. Let it be natural. Follow your heart, your intuition, move toward what makes you feel good, because that’s exactly what the Flow state feels like. The more you allow yourself to experience that feeling, the more you will master the skills of maintaining it in your life.
Recommended reading: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience and Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life, both by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
